THIS IS WORTH DOING.

I've been struggling for a while to find a place to start. It's scary to admit, but there it is. I decided the best thing to do was to think about the last time I started something that I felt passionate about, and it was this blog. 

I started it a few years ago as a challenge to myself: to blog about every book I read for a year. I had a clear vision for the project - I would keep it up for 52 weeks. I would read, I would see how many books I read, and I would write consistently. I accomplished my goal and felt proud. And then, I wasn't sure what to do. 

I decided I enjoyed the experience and the blogs I'd been introduced to and wanted to continue past the first year, but without a goal, I felt aimless. I wanted to talk about my interests outside of books, but I wasn't sure anyone would read it. I'd been commuting a long distance to work for a while, and it started getting to me. I was tired, I was stressed out, and I didn't feel like anyone thought this thing was worth doing anymore, so, somewhat abruptly, I decided to stop. 

I took about a year off. I didn't think about it often, didn't let myself feel guilty (much). And I came to the realization that I missed it. I liked having a platform to document the things in my life and share those things with others. I missed interacting with people whose shared enthusiasm about those things made me happy. I started toying with the idea of creating a platform to share those things again - and realized it already existed here. I just needed to decide if it was worth doing. 

And that's where it came screeching to a halt. I am the queen of overthinking and procrastinating and generally talking myself out of experiencing things I would like to experience. And then I read this newsletter from one of my favorite twitter-ers, Kathleen @fangirltherapy. It was all about the ways in which we can overcome procrastination. She suggested the best way to deal with the negative thoughts behind procrastination is to change your thought process. Instead of thinking things like I feel stupid doing this, tell yourself the potential outcome is worth the initial awkwardness. 

The thing that resonated with me most was this: This is worth doing, even though I can't control the outcome. Like many of my fellow human beans, I seek external validation. I like for other people to tell me the thing I am doing is worth doing, but they can't tell me that unless I actually do the thing! See where this becomes convoluted? But the truth is, we shouldn't need someone else's permission to do the thing we enjoy - if it makes us happy, it's worth doing. Even if nobody else sees it. 

So today I am telling myself, and you, that THIS (whatever this is for you) IS WORTH DOING. Unless you're planning to like, murder someone or something, in which case you should most definitely not do it.